


while lingering in the universe, we got to know each other

by almanacs



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Constipation, M/M, Modern Royalty, Parallel Universes, Slight Unrequited Feelings, a little bit of soulmates, blink and you miss though, but not with main pairing, daniel/seongwoo - Freeform, learning about yourself and all that jazz, sewoon/youngmin, side pairings include:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 05:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12052647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almanacs/pseuds/almanacs
Summary: Even through a different universe, Minhyun can't ever seem to get this right.[Crown Prince/Parallel Universes AU in which Minhyun fucks up both]





	while lingering in the universe, we got to know each other

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pallavens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pallavens/gifts).



> some notes before we start:  
> 1\. south korea's monarchy still exists in the alternate/parallel life, imagine it sort of like goong  
> 2\. since the monarchy technically doesn't exist anymore, i've taken some creative liberty with the rules/regulations surrounding the government in this fic. it slightly models after a constitutional monarchy, but don't worry cause the government rules/regs play a small role anyways  
> 3\. sujin is minhyun's actual sister  
> 4\. the title is from jonghyun/minhyun's duet, 'daybreak'
> 
> and lastly, this is for amanda:  
> thank you for being so patient and forgiving even though i'm 50 years late gifting this to you ;;;; when we first joked around with this idea, i didn't think it would ever turn into this mess, cause man we'd do anything for pain and turmoil, huh. i hope you enjoy this somehow ... i love you!

The silk garment on his skin should feel normal now. Instead, it drapes over his body, regal and heavy; a stark reminder of forthcoming events he can’t avoid. 

Time continues to tick, like a bomb waiting to detonate. He adds to his itching nerves by counting down the minutes, all the way to the seconds. 

It’s all very disorienting. 

Feeling nervous for something you practiced is one thing. Walking into something blindfolded is another nerve-wracking moment altogether. 

He’s supposed to be anywhere but here.

The tailors continue taking measurements, from the length of his shoulders, right down to the size of his feet. They’re talking in hurried whispers, hands flying around layers of fabric, giving frank glances when they don’t think he’s looking. 

He lets out an exasperated sigh, trying to find another menial task to focus on instead. Rumours he can deal with. Being a singer trained him on that, at least. 

He begins to drift off out of boredom, wondering where he’s going to be whisked off to next, until he’s interrupted by a light cough.

“Crown Prince,” someone greets him with a bow, arms outstretched to escort him to his afternoon schedule.

Minhyun falters just a bit, still unsure of his boundaries, before he collects his composure and returns the gesture. 

“I’m ready.”

 

 

 

 

Being called into the CEO’s office is all sorts of terrifying. 

NU’EST just had another round of promotions and the fruits of their labour sit shy of expectations. They’re nearing their 6th anniversary; in due time, the group Minhyun has grown to love and cherish for the better part of his life will become a thing of the past. The dull ache nestled in his chest continues to worsen over time. 

The office is big and overly sterile, distinctly reminding Minhyun of rushed visits to the hospital, of being overworked to the bone. A black couch sits four of the members with Jonghyun on the armchair close by, back unnaturally straight, eyes clouded as he converses with the president.

“You’re going on Produce 101,” the president finally says, avoiding their gazes as he swivels around his chair, a clear dismissal. No room for arguments, a finality to his words. Such a simple action and the world around Minhyun crashes ten fold. 

He looks over at Jonghyun, gentle smile encouraging everyone that this might be a good opportunity. It’s at that moment, seeing Jonghyun muster up so much courage, that Minhyun realizes the ache in his chest is disappointment. Cold, hard disappointment. To Jonghyun, the other members, their fans, _himself_. Second chances are for people who have failed. Minhyun did not see failure in the future. It fucking blows. 

While he’s laying in bed that night, Minhyun tries hard to ignore the pressure on his chest.

Come tomorrow, they’ll be on a different path. Minhyun’s not too sure if he’s ready for that.

 

 

 

 

Four months fly by and before Minhyun knows it, the program is almost at an end. Minhyun’s exhausted, rightfully so; weeks are filled with happy and sad memories with his fellow trainees, and muscles ache from repeated attempts at memorizing choreography. 

He almost falls asleep into his bowl of rice when someone slides into the seat across from him. 

“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’ve been here for months now and you still look like you could use 50 energy drinks,” Jonghyun says, pushing a glass of water in front of him. 

“They’re making us learn so much in such a short amount of time, of course we’re all tired,” Minhyun reminds him, taking the cup of water thankfully.

Jonghyun hums, waving to Jaehwan and Sewoon who walk by, joined by the hip. They’re in deep conversation, eyes locked with a smile reserved just for each other. Seongwoo and Daniel are off to the corner, arguing about the importance of jellybeans. “Can you believe it? We’re at the end. All four of us.”

There’s a nervous itch creeping up his arm. “What happens if some of us get in and some don’t?”

Jonghyun purses his lip, nodding thoughtfully after a second. “I don’t think that should be the problem. As long as our hearts are one, why does it matter where any of us are? Besides, what if none of us makes it? We could happily go back as NU’EST. Sounds ideal, huh?” 

Minhyun snorts lightly, feeling somewhat fond. Jonghyun’s always been someone to look at things positively. “You have to make it. It’ll be ridiculous if you don't. All of Korea is expecting you to be the group’s leader. You basically brought everyone up.”

“Sure,” Jonghyun numbly agrees, wiggling his nose a little at the compliment. “But before all this, NU’EST is who I’ll always protect first.”

“How has your heart not been tainted yet,” Minhyun teases, but they both know he’s not really joking. 

Jonghyun rubs the back of his neck bashfully. “I just want people to see that there’s a silver lining out there for everyone. I mean, we’re proof of it, right?” 

This time, Minhyun hums in agreement. 

Jonghyun is the one to speak again. “Tomorrow, no matter the outcome, we’ll always be together. No doubt.”

Minhyun nods. Why would anyone doubt?

 

 

 

 

The final member gets called and Minhyun can’t help but feel resentment. No, not at his fellow future members. They’ve all earned the right to their spot. It’s not directed at his current members either, who look up at him expectantly. He’s angry, though: at Pledis, at the producers of the show, at himself. 

Out of all the possibilities, he never accounted for this. If it’s not in Minhyun’s books, it means he’s unprepared, stripped raw and vulnerable for people to pick at. So he can’t help it that the strong facade that he built gets broken down just as the director yells cut.

Quite honestly, the feeling catches him off guard, pulling him into a state of instant misery he can’t seem to shake off. People are lining up, waiting to congratulate him, when all he wants to do is disappear. 

The worst is when his members run up to hug him, patting him with soothing words. Minki’s smile is usually infectious, but this time, it looks strained and forced. If Dongho sees how Minhyun’s heart breaks, he doesn’t speak of it, only coming in for another hug, tighter this time around. Jonghyun is the last to approach him, smile ready, and eyes glittering.

“At least one of us made it,” Jonghyun rubs at Minhyun’s back gently. “Minhyun, congratulations.”

But Minhyun shakes his head. This isn’t right. This spot belongs to Jonghyun. 

Minhyun cries harder after that, unable to properly string words together, afraid of sounding like he’s ungrateful for the program. Instead, Minhyun paces along the side, waiting for his tears to subside and for him to calm down.

It’s not until they’re backstage when Minhyun finally relaxes enough to talk to Jonghyun.

“I searched high and low for this,” Jonghyun says proudly as he presents a box of tissues.

Wordlessly, he takes the box from where he’s seated and almost cries again.

“You’re supposed to be here.” The _with me_ gets left unsaid, but Jonghyun already seems to know the implication behind it anyway.

“I am here with you,” Jonghyun assures, kneeling down to grab Minhyun’s hands in his.

Minhyun extricates himself from the hold and tries to breathe, frustration breathing through his body. “I just feel so sorry… to the others, to you.”

Jonghyun’s looking away, now. They’re both staring at the other trainees from afar. Seonho bounced off a while ago, currently draping himself over Gunhee. Next to them, Sewoon holds onto Youngmin’s arm tightly, leaning his head on Youngmin’s shoulder, unaware that Youngmin is staring at him longingly. Minhyun wonders how broken they all must feel.

“We’re fine, Minhyun. It’s going to take a lot more to break us apart.”

He knows that. But it doesn’t dissipate the bile forcing its way up his throat whenever Minhyun thinks about it. Too far gone with anger and helplessness, Minhyun is consumed by immense guilt that he’s accustomed to. 

By the time they get home, Minhyun shuts himself up in his room, ignoring Jonghyun softly calling for him, and wills the ache in his chest to go away.

 

 

 

 

When Minhyun opens his eyes the next morning, he wakes up in a bed way too big, completely alone. 

This isn’t his dorm. Certainly not his bedroom at home, either. Ornate wooden furniture decorates the perimeter, the gold speckled wallpaper positively gleams where the sun pools in through large windows. He stumbles out of bed, wobbling towards the window to open the latch to take in the new view.

The house is tucked away in a sea of lush greenery, cobbled stone weave together to adorn the winded pathway, with a large gate sitting at the end of the driveway. It’s secluded at best, offering some semblance of privacy from the public. But there’s still a crowd of people waiting outside with cameras in their hands, restlessly fidgeting, waiting for _something_. 

Leaning forward so he can get a better look, Minhyun reels inside almost immediately when the crowd notices him and lets out an excited scream.

Heart racing against his chest, Minhyun exits the bedroom and runs past throngs of people he doesn’t recognize, all giving him the same puzzled expression. It’s all very laughable, honestly. Minhyun’s the one who wakes up in an unrecognizable house and people are staring at him like he’s the crazy one.

At this point, Minhyun’s completely lost. Clearly not his smartest move. Minhyun stills to gather his breath until a familiar figure strolls across his peripheral. 

“Noona!” Minhyun all but screams, running forward to give his sister the biggest hug.

“Woah,” Sujin laughs, pulling them apart to give him a worried glance. He doesn’t even realize he’s shaking so badly until Sujin holds him firmly between her hands. “Is everything okay? You haven’t given me a hug this dramatic since I snuck you outside when you still weren’t allowed to leave.”

Minhyun tilts his head, stepping back to look at Sujin incredulously. “Why wouldn’t I be allowed outside?”

Sujin playfully punches him on the chest and then crosses her arms in amusement. The workers around them sneak a few peculiar glances before scattering away. Minhyun’s been in the spotlight countless of times but this level of blatant interest and disregard is strange. “Mom and Dad wouldn’t let you? They had to protect you from the public? More like they didn’t trust you enough as you might showcase your teenage rebellion. Ring any bells?” 

“You have to believe me when I say I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Minhyun says, eyes round and bewildered. Sure, their parents were protective, but they always valued independence and taught Minhyun such. After all, they did allow Minhyun to pursue a singing career. 

Taking a good look at the mirror next to him, Minhyun’s surprised at how tired he looks, hair tousled and eye bags darker than usual. 

“Mom and dad have never forbade us to leave the house. And I most definitely don’t recognize this house.” 

“Did you hit your head drinking last night?” Sujin asks flatly, voice masked with quiet concern. “I can see the headline now: ‘Crown Prince doesn’t know how to handle his own alcohol. How can he lead a nation when he’s knocked out after a shot?’ People will know your shitty weakness and exploit you, Minhyun.”

All Minhyun can do is wordlessly stare at her because he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to fucking feel after taking in all that information. “Crown Prince.” He tastes the word on his tongue, throat clogged, almost choking when he realizes the scale of it. 

“You sure are funny today, Minhyun. It’s nice to see you relaxed after being so holed up for years.” Sujin takes the time to brush some of the dust off his shoulders and preens when he’s looking moderately presentable and not like he woke up just ten minutes ago. She meets his gaze with a strong, assuring smile. For the first time in awhile, Minhyun remembers to breathe. “Being serious isn’t a good look on you. Now hurry up and get back to your room! Word got out that the Crown Prince ran amuck, high tailed his responsibility, and left the nation in ruins. Wouldn’t want that now, do you?” 

Minhyun’s sister always had an iron fist, not afraid of asserting herself when the situation calls for it. Strong, independent, and fearless; he’s glad that the Sujin here still retains all the qualities he finds admirable about her. Afraid of retaliating against his sister, Minhyun shakes his head.

Sujin pats him on the arm, eyes bright and full of wonder. “You’ll do fine. You always do. Now, go.” 

Feet moving on autopilot, he nods before retracing his steps, a million thoughts going through his head. If someone told Minhyun he’d one day be living his own fairytale, he’d laugh in their face and call them crazy. For now, Minhyun decides to play along with his current predicament, and prays he’ll wake up the next morning realizing this is all a fevered dream. 

 

 

 

 

Except reality never hits and he’s stuck living in this strange, perpetual dream.

The next morning, one of the palace employees gently rouses Minhyun awake, reminding him of his classes. 

He almost laughs, finding the situation oddly hilarious, while blearily rubbing the sand from his eyes. Out of all the things he expected to do as Crown Prince, school somehow escaped his mind. 

The driver, who Minhyun learns is Jooseok, drops him off at an entrance and says he’ll pick Minhyun up in the evening. 

People are still giving him awed looks left and right, so Minhyun ducks into the nearest building, hopefully out of sight to the mass majority. All he’s got to do is survive school, right? Granted, he hasn’t attended school in awhile, but what’s the difference between attending school and going to his idol schedules?

What seemed to be a relatively simple task is actually a disaster. Firstly, Minhyun doesn’t know where his classes are. The minute he steps forward to ask someone, they hurriedly step back with a bow and walk away. Also, what the heck is he even majoring in? 

Frowning and clearly frustrated, he thinks of just calling it quits for the day when someone slings an arm over his shoulders.

“There you are!” A voice calls. Minhyun breathes a sigh of relief at the figure. Seongwoo is still the same person Minhyun remembers--bright, charming, and handsome. His lips quirk up to form a mischievous smile as he drags Minhyun forward by the arm. 

“Did you sleep in? You look like shit,” Seongwoo jokes, finally letting go of his arm as they cruise through the campus corridors. Like before, people are taking one good look at them before clearing the way, making an easy path to wherever their destination is. 

“I feel like shit,” Minhyun idly confirms, long legs failing to keep up with Seongwoo’s pace. 

“Well, lucky for you, we know exactly what you need,” Seongwoo comments, cheshire grin full of promises. 

Minhyun’s about to ask what Seongwoo means, when he notices they are nearing a table of familiar people. Tucked away in the corner of the cafeteria, Daniel, Sewoon, and Jaehwan sit closely huddled around multiple plates of french fries. When they draw closer, Minhyun kind of wants to cry. Things aren’t exactly as different as he thought it would be.

“So, I told Professor Park to kiss my ass. If Sungwoon hyung can audition with a shitty rendition of Snowflower for the Jazz group, I can dramatically belt to Twice’s song to my heart's content,” Jaehwan finishes with a strong humph, lips formed into a deadly pout. 

Sewoon rolls his eyes but somehow looks endeared all at once. “Did you really say that to him?”

“No. I’m vengeful, true. But that doesn’t mean I have a death wish,” Jaehwan grunts matter-of-factly and steals one of the fries Sewoon is holding. Sewoon hits his arm in the process and Jaehwan yelps, rubbing at his sore arm and looking terribly wounded. “Besides, he should be lucky I’m trying out. Seoul University’s star music student branching out and trying new genres. Great student press news.”

Seongwoo whacks him across the head and slides into the seat beside Daniel, who is quietly observing the situation with glee.

Jaehwan glares at Seongwoo who sticks out his tongue in response. “Is it National Abuse Jaehwan Day? Because when I die, I want to be glorified. Not ridiculed.” 

“You’re full of shit,” Seongwoo replies, grimacing when Jaehwan gives the best puppy face he can muster. “Stop that. It’s ugly.” 

Jaehwan blows him a couple of kissy faces. Daniel pretends to catch it in Seongwoo’s place. Minhyun almost laughs at how surreal this feels. “Love you, too.” 

“Hyung, aren’t you going to sit as well?” Sewoon asks, head angling slightly. The glasses sitting on his face tilts along with him. 

Belatedly, he realizes he’s still standing awkwardly by the table. So Minhyun wipes his clammy hands on his pants, follows suit, and prays he doesn’t say anything ridiculous.

“Mr. Crown Prince suddenly thinks he’s too good for us,” Jaehwan teasingly mocks, pretending to dab at a non-existent tear. “After all our years of friendship. Gone. Down the drain. Forgotten forever.”

“Why are you so dramatic all the time?” Daniel sighs, tone indicating he’s already fulfilled his daily quota of dealing with Jaehwan’s antics. Lazily leaning back, he puts an arm around Seongwoo’s chair, and Minhyun notices Seongwoo marginally leaning back as well. 

“No, it’s not that,” Minhyun assures them quickly, almost frantic to get on their good terms, even though he knows their friendship can sustain through any universe imaginable. “I’ve been having an off day. I feel like I’ve woken up in some sort of strange dream.”

“What do you mean?” Daniel asks, showing that quiet concern Minhyun’s so used to.

“Like I’m not the Crown Prince you all think I am,” Minhyun says absentmindedly. 

His friends all take a good look at him before bursting into laughter. 

“Have you been rebelling on us again?” Seongwoo questions, wiggling closer to nudge Minhyun by the shoulder.

Daniel looks at Minhyun curiously. “Hyung, since the beginning of time, you have, and always will be, the Crown Prince.”

Seongwoo takes some of Sewoon’s fries and places them near him, gesturing at him to eat. There has always been an unsettling feeling in Minhyun’s stomach, but now he’s positive that it’s not hunger. Seongwoo looks just as confused as he does. “I’ve known you since the beginning of time, and you’ll always be the Crown Prince, Minhyun.”

Anxiety flows through his body. These are his friends, definitely. They look like them, talk like them. But they seem to be more adept to this world than the world Minhyun is familiar with. Minhyun doesn’t think they’re aware of what’s happening. Or what happened. Ultimately, he decides to keep his situation on the down low. There’s just so much going on that Minhyun wants to crawl into bed and shut the world out. He’s the Crown Prince, right? Surely he’s able to take some much needed time off to recuperate. 

In the end, Minhyun can’t help but feel defeated. “You’re right. It’s just a silly dream.”

As he’s about to excuse himself to grab some food, Sewoon leans in closer, eyelashes fluttering as they look at each other. “Are you sure you’re okay, hyung?”

Ruffling Sewoon’s hair, Minhyun almost replies when someone walks by, catching him off guard. In a flash, Minhyun gets up and stares at the retreating figure. 

“Jonghyun,” Minhyun finally breathes, heart pounding in his chest. It’s the same gentle smile adorning Jonghyun’s face that makes Minhyun start to feel like something might burst. The last time they spoke, Minhyun couldn’t even look at him in the face. He still feels so much guilt, it eats away at his heart. 

He realizes he says it loud enough that Jonghyun turns around to stare at him questionably. What’s scary about all this is that Jonghyun looks the same as when Minhyun last saw him: uncertainty and apprehension masked behind a reserved, kind smile. 

“Crown Prince,” Jonghyun acknowledges with a bow, in the period of relative awkwardness. And before Minhyun knows it, Jonghyun’s gone again. Just like that. 

Seongwoo whistles and pulls Minhyun’s ass back into the seat. He lands with a loud thud. “Since when were you on friendly terms with Jonghyun?”

Minhyun looks puzzled at the accusation. How can he not? He’s known Jonghyun for as long as he can remember. “Am I not supposed to?”

Daniel shakes his head, hands out to cup his chin knowingly. “Nah, it’s just… You never really talked to anyone besides Seongwoo. You were known to be reserved, busy being whisked off with royal duties, everything a Crown Prince should be doing. Until Seongwoo forcefully assimilated you into our group.” 

“That’s not me at all,” Minhyun replies, baffled. A wave of sudden sadness washes over him. Why does the Minhyun in this world sound so lonely?

Sewoon finishes the remainder of his plate before getting up, guitar bag slung over his small shoulders. “We’re not saying that you’re stuck up and look at us like we’re plebeians, hyung. We know you have a lot of your plate. Yeah, there are rumours, but of course you’re not anything based on rumours. If anything, we’re glad that you’re here with us.”

Minhyun looks up at Sewoon thoughtfully before nodding. He may not know much about this world so far, but Minhyun’s determined to understand himself even more.

 

 

 

“I can’t believe you forgot where our business class was,” Seongwoo mutters, sometimes taking a few peculiar looks behind his shoulder where Minhyun’s awkwardly trailing behind.

Minhyun shrugs to no-one in particular. “Hey, it might be a weird question but remind me what my major is…”

Seongwoo immediately stops and drags Minhyun into a secluded corner. Seongwoo inches close enough that Minhyun can feel his breathy, frantic whisper. Pressing the back of his palm to Minhyun’s forehead, Seongwoo nods happily when he confirms Minhyun does not have a fever. “Dude, are you okay? Did you drink too hard the other day?”

Minhyun groans and shoves Seongwoo back lightly. “Why does everyone keep asking me that! I can’t even handle two sips of alcohol!” 

At this, Seongwoo steps back in serious wonder. “Seriously, _who are you_? The Minhyun I drank with three nights ago took a body shot right out of Kang Daniel’s belly button. While you were _upside down_!” Minhyun gives him a disgusted face. “No, for real, man. I had mad respect for you that night. I also questioned whether I should’ve allowed you to have all those shots in quick succession.”

Minhyun doesn’t know how many times he can give Seongwoo an unimpressed glare today. This might have been his twelfth, actually. 

They filter into their marketing class together, being one of the only few strays left before the professor begins the lecture. The class seems to be in a large lecture hall. Dozens of students meander by the aisle, catching up with friends about their weekend activities. Even Seongwoo stops a couple of times, offering light hugs and quick conversations about his weekend to people Minhyun doesn’t recognize. It’s nice to know Seongwoo is still the friendly person Minhyun has always known.

Sitting at the back, out of view from everyone, Minhyun finally opens his bag to see what’s inside. Two small notebooks are nestled beside each other, with a silver pen wedged inside the coil of one notebook. 

When he opens a notebook, Minhyun is surprised to find it mostly blank. There are some odd dates scribbled on the sides, indicating a meeting time and place. Some of them have names written neatly underneath. Other times, the names are crossed out in hard, frustrated strokes. 

Puzzled, Minhyun continues to try to figure out the meaning behind these dates when someone shoves a stack of paper towards him in his peripheral. 

Jonghyun is standing by the aisle, arms outstretched with the week’s assignment. 

“Hey,” he greets and Minhyun blinks. “I have to hand these out to everyone in the class. Care to take a few and pass it down?”

“Of course,” Minhyun answers, quickly grabbing the stack. Their hands brush ever so lightly and Minhyun shivers. He’s about to attempt another conversation when Jonghyun moves away quickly towards the next row. 

Maybe talking to Jonghyun will make Minhyun understand the life he has here. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Seongwoo and the others. He understands how important they are to this Minhyun. It’s just that Jonghyun is his long-time friend. They’ve been through so much together. To Minhyun, talking to Jonghyun is as easy as breathing. 

Throughout the rest of the class, Minhyun keeps a close eye on Jonghyun who sits near the front. By the time the hour and a half is up, Minhyun hurriedly grabs his belongings, waving goodbye at Seongwoo who has another class right after. 

It must have been a good couple of minutes waiting outside the double doors of the lecture hall before Jonghyun finally emerges with Youngmin in tow. 

“Jonghyun-sshi,” Minhyun says, feeling a little silly addressing his long-time friend so formally.

“Crown Prince,” Jonghyun greets, sending Youngmin a quick glance. He’s about to bow before Minhyun stops him with a firm shake of the head.

“No, we’re friends. Minhyun’s just fine.” 

Jonghyun doubles back in confusion, glancing both ways before he settles on looking at Minhyun right in the eye. “Alright, _Minhyun_ ,” Jonghyun tests the name before straightening up and shaking off some of his nerves, clearly weirded out by the day’s situation. “Then Jonghyun is fine as well.”

Youngmin looks every bit as perplexed before excusing himself and telling Jonghyun he’ll see him at the dorms later. 

Turning his full attention back to Minhyun, Jonghyun says, “How can I help you?”

“I was wondering when your office hours were.” He has to play it smooth. He can’t possibly keep surprising Jonghyun like this. It’s a little unfair, after all. 

Jonghyun perks up considerably, hugging a notebook close to his chest. “My office hours are every Monday and Wednesdays from 1pm to 2pm.” At this, Jonghyun cocks his head a little in deep thought. He definitely has questions but holds them back. “However, I’m unsure as to why you need to see me? I’ve marked your assignments before, and you’re doing really well in this course.” 

Minhyun lets out a stiff laugh. “You’re right. I guess I just needed an excuse to talk to you.”

It takes Jonghyun a few seconds to process the information, eyes round and befuddled. Minhyun’s about to mutter that he was joking, that it was all in good teasing fun, but Jonghyun replies with a wide grin. 

“Well, we’re friends, right?” Jonghyun states, brow raised, and Minhyun mirrors his grin. “Who says we have to set up appointments to see each other?”

 

 

 

 

There are a few truly happy moments in Minhyun’s life that he can distinctly remember. 

There was that time his mother surprised him with tickets to Disneyland in America. Little 8 year old Hwang Minhyun thought nothing could top that. And then he passed Pledis’ auditions, and that was a whole other feeling of happiness. Minhyun endlessly thanked his friends who dragged him to the auditions and they all celebrated around a small table in a restaurant. Their debut day comes next; hard work and perseverance etched into their aching skin and bones, reminding them of the promises to each other during difficult times. To always be humble and that they will always have one another. 

Through it all, Jonghyun became a strong pillar in Minhyun’s life. Not only as a leader, but as one of Minhyun’s dearest friends. Jonghyun has that sort of mystifying effect on people. 

He remembers the days where the two of them would sit beside each other, sweat plastered on their foreheads as they just practiced eight hours straight for their new comeback single. It should feel exhausting, but that’s never the case when Jonghyun’s there right beside him, positive encouragement always ready. 

Minhyun recognizes that some things don’t ever change. Even in a different universe.

Right now, Jonghyun and Minhyun are on a bench in a park near the university. He doesn’t know if he has classes the rest of the day, but that’s the least of his concerns when he’s finally having a good conversation with Jonghyun. The last time they spoke, many things were left unsaid.

And yet, conversation flows easily between them, momentarily allowing Minhyun to forget that everything in the past few days even happened. 

Autumn decorates the afternoon sky, where leaves start to fall, leaving a colourful trail that hides the long, winded path. Cyclists are passing by, eyes focused on the path ahead of them. Minhyun tries to remember what that felt like.

Jonghyun picks up a leaf on his lap and twirls it. He doesn’t see the way Minhyun looks at him longingly.

“Forgive me for being forward, but is there a reason you seek my company?” Jonghyun asks, a little after they’ve seated on the bench. It should take Minhyun by surprise, but Jonghyun’s never been the one to beat around the bush. “We barely spoke aside from class discussions. I wasn’t even sure you knew who I was. But I was proven wrong. The Crown Prince appears to know my name.” 

Jonghyun stares at the sky wistfully, shielding his face with his hand. The sun is at its highest and casts a strange shadow above them. “I’m not bothered,” Jonghyun clarifies quickly, hands gesturing everywhere. “My friends are just confused as I am. They think I committed treason against you or something and you’re out for blood. I told them you didn’t seem to be the type of ruler to behead people mindlessly. But in case you are, do I get to say goodbye to my friends and family at least?” 

Minhyun laughs at the obvious joke and shakes his head. Some of his bangs fall in front, obscuring his vision slightly. “I can assure you that you have done nothing wrong. Besides, I’m pretty sure execution is illegal. As far as I know, you’re free to have a fair trial.” 

“And what’s the verdict?” Jonghyun continues to play along, tone light and cheerful. 

Minhyun pauses. “Not guilty.” 

Jonghyun laughs and relaxes a bit, taking a minute to stretch his body. 

They sit together in comfortable silence, watching scenes unfold in front of them. On the far left, a family of three sit beneath a tree with a picnic basket. The toddler is happily munching on a cracker while the parents watch closeby, adoration written on their faces. Minhyun mimics their expressions.

“So, you’re a music student while minoring in business? That’s an odd combination.” Music, Minhyun expected for sure. Business, comes at a surprise, however.

Jonghyun lets the leaf fall from his finger tips. Without looking at Minhyun, he nods slowly, more to himself it seems. “I love music but it’s difficult to find a career in it. Business is more of a back up, if anything. At least I’ll have some basic knowledge. Who knows, maybe I’ll be a leader in something one day.” 

Minhyun grins when he hears this, smile reaching his eyes. If only Jonghyun knew.

“I think you’ll be great at anything. You have the ability to move people. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Jonghyun stills before finally meeting Minhyun’s gaze softly. He scrunches his nose and then burrows behind the large scarf he’s wearing. “You speak as if you know me. As if you trust me.”

Minhyun’s breath hitches and he shrugs offhandedly, breaking eye contact to focus on the pebbles beneath his shoes. “You’re easy to talk to,” is all he can offer.

“Thank you,” Jonghyun says sincerely, and Minhyun’s heart drums slowly, yet surely. “I feel the same way.”

He doesn’t know what pushes him to be bold. There’s something about being here with Jonghyun, talking about anything and nothing, that calms him. 

“You remind me of someone,” Minhyun begins thoughtfully, peeks over to see Jonghyun waiting for him to continue, face curious and patient. “He’s great. Wise, loyal, and incredibly selfless. He never gives himself enough credit. He’s touched the hearts of so many people. He’s done so much for everyone, so much for me, and I feel like I let him down.” Regret seeps through his voice, something uncomfortable gets lodged in his throat.

“Something happened. He said it’s fine, and of course I trust him. Still, I can’t help but feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do more for him,” Minhyun finishes weakly. He didn’t give enough information, so there’s no way Jonghyun can possibly know the extent. But there’s something that alleviates Minhyun’s guilt, even if it’s just a smidge, speaking to someone that looks like Jonghyun, even though it probably isn’t. 

A few moments pass until Jonghyun speaks up, words slow and careful. “I don’t know your friend personally. Based on what you said, it seems like he wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over something uncontrollable. There comes a time where you have to step back and try to understand what the person is truly saying, how they’re truly feeling. You’re the Crown Prince, Minhyun. You may like to think the world revolves around how you feel, but it doesn’t.” 

Minhyun stays silent, trying to process what’s been said. He’s been so busy wallowing in his own sadness that he failed to recognize Jonghyun’s feeling in the matter. It just sucks even more now, knowing his own selfishness.

“Trust him.” Jonghyun puts a reassuring hand on Minhyun’s shoulder. “Like he trusts you. I get that you guys value each other a lot. Use that as your strength.” 

 

 

 

 

When Minhyun’s not busy at school, he gets whisked away to a few business meetings. His parents sit in front of the long table, business attire on and engrossed in the current matters at hand. 

Although Minhyun recognizes his parents, he comes to a jarring realization that they might be wearing the same skin, but their mind and soul are different. Not everyone's the same, it seems. 

Just like Minhyun, his parents also play a role. It’s a difficult game of charade, if he really thinks about it. Although the monarchy doesn’t have much power anymore, the royal family still plays a vital role. They have to act the part they’re given to them and the world must believe, must trust in their monarchy. They’re all public figures, in the end. How does one rule a country without having an iron heart? 

His father sits still in the chair, face passive. Minhyun notices his father’s eye bags are darker than usual, wrinkles forming more from stress than old age. It’s sad to see his once healthy father now carrying the country’s weight on his shoulders.

Sujin sits beside him, face attentive and nodding along with what’s being discussed. Compared to Minhyun, Sujin is ready to engage and offers valuable insight from a different perspective. Their parents look proud and other personnel in the room nod along encouragingly. 

As they leave the meeting, their parents hurrying off first to tend to other matters, Minhyun cranes his neck and groans. How utterly exhausting trying to understand matters of a narrative he was never supposed to be part of.

“What’s going on? You didn’t seem that involved in today’s discussion.” Sujin sidles up gracefully, the blush tints her cheek ever so naturally. 

“I don’t know how you do it, noona. Every time I go to these meetings, I feel like I never offer anything useful.”

Sujin starts brushing her hair with her fingers, fluffing the base of her hair up afterwards, and then tucking stray flyaways behind her ears. “It’s not too difficult. You get used to it when you’ve sat in those meetings. Besides, you’re still new to this. Sooner or later, you’ll be leading these meetings yourself.”

Minhyun’s eyes bulge with worry. “You were right. I’m going to tear this country apart.” 

“Shut up.” She pinches him hard on the arm. “I trust you. And I’m a good judge of character. I’ll be here to help you.”

Sujin puts her hand out into a fist bump, brow raised playfully. Minhyun fist bumps her back.

“Anyways,” Sujin starts, hopping up and clutching her bag closer. “I have matters to attend. Again, don’t worry about anything. Even when we were young, you always had a solution to every problem. No matter how insane they could be.”

 

 

 

 

Trying to find some balance in this life becomes a struggle to Minhyun. He’s not sure why he’s here, and what he has to do. He’s clearly not fit to be the Crown Prince. Disastrous meetings go by without Minhyun understanding anything. But Minhyun figures he was never meant to be an idol, either. It seems like he can’t do anything right, really.

For now, Minhyun’s just floating between empty spaces. Trying to exist but not quite sure how to live. 

He does the only thing he understands. Which means meeting up with Jonghyun becomes a daily occurrence in Minhyun’s life. As it should be. Like Minhyun’s used to.

He realizes that he doesn’t have to make pathetic excuses anymore to be with Jonghyun. Whenever Minhyun asks if Jonghyun’s available, Jonghyun replies that he’s just about to make his way to Minhyun’s next class. It fills Minhyun up with an odd kind of satisfaction. The weird niggling feeling is momentarily forgotten as he spends the next few weeks getting accustomed to this world. Although it was weird at first, Minhyun thinks he’s finally got the hang of it.

Eventually, their friend group collides and it’s a mess that Minhyun tried so hard to avoid. He’s about to pour his scalding soup onto Jaehwan, but he holds back his annoyance because Minhyun’s supposed to be the model definition of calm. Yet, at the moment, he’s anything but. 

“Our Minhyunnie hyung has been spending a lot of time with you lately,” Jaehwan interrogates, eyes narrowed into judgmental slits. There’s a weird thrumming Minhyun feels throughout the table due to Jaehwan’s incessant tapping against the wood. “What’s your agenda, Kim Jonghyun-sshi?”

Sewoon kicks him from under the table and Youngmin, who is sitting nearby, chuckles fondly. “Do we need to put a muzzle on you to keep you from talking?”

“It’s alright.” Jonghyun waves off, kind smile eerily still in place. “I get that puppies need constant love. It's endearing, honestly.”

Minhyun can hear Seongwoo’s muffled laughter. Jaehwan stares in mortification, hand protectively clutching over his heart in a feeble attempt to save his pride. “I don't need to seek people's love. I'm already lovable.” He leans closer and wiggles his eyebrows. “I like him, though. You’re unexpectedly fun to be with.”

Minhyun blushes, annoyance still evident as he stabs his fork into the spaghetti. “I don’t need your validation for anything, Jaehwan.”

The table continues to laugh. The atmosphere is good.

“Youngmin-sshi,” Sewoon starts, hoping to start a new conversation; mostly because he’ll do anything to shy Jaehwan off the spotlight. Minhyun notices how Youngmin is sitting up straighter, focused intently on Sewoon. “How long have you known Jonghyun for?”

“Hyung is fine,” Youngmin addresses to everyone before continuing. “We met during freshman year. Actually, we were roommates. Saved my life and never looked back since.”

“I taught you how to use a washing machine,” Jonghyun supplies helpfully while leafing through his backpack.

“Does Youngmin have any habits?” Seongwoo asks, rubbing away the sand near his eyes. It’s obvious he has just woken up.

“It’s not that he’s difficult to live with but rather I question some of his decisions,” Jonghyun explains and Youngmin pouts in response. Sewoon lightly mutters a ‘cute’. “If you look into his closet, there would be rows and rows of the same shirt. People think he doesn’t own other shirts but he’s literally too stubborn to try something different.”

“When you’re comfortable with something, you tend to adopt it into your routine,” Daniel says, earning mutual agreement from everyone, particularly an enthusiastic Youngmin.

Seongwoo perks up as he presents an idea. “Here’s a thought: if you were to switch styles, what would you like to try?”

Youngmin ponders for a few seconds, takes a good look around the table, and glances shyly at Sewoon. “Sewoon always looks great.”

Seongwoo’s shit-eating grin is calculating and playful. “Very boyfriend, huh.”

Before Youngmin has time to reply, Sewoon interrupts abruptly with an unimpressed face, which only makes Seongwoo guffaw out loud. “What he means is that I’m very flattered you feel that way.”

The table shakes again due to the loud roaring. Minhyun sits back and enjoys the mess.

 

 

 

 

Fridays mean free time, according to Minhyun’s phone. Thankfully, the phone he currently possesses has his schedules meticulously laid out. Not that he really needs it--Minhyun always has people direct him to where he needs to go next.

Being of royal blood has its downsides, like how Minhyun can never have any semblance of privacy, as guards are stationed a few blocks away at all times. He can’t even use the subway without causing a fuss from private personnel and the public alike. Most of his life is planned years down the road, so he values any free time he has. Having free time gives him the opportunity to feel like he has some kind of influence over his future. It’s a nice reassuring feeling to have agency over his own thoughts and outcomes.

Right now, Minhyun glances up at Jonghyun worriedly, holding a screwdriver in one hand and the other on the ladder to hold it steady. “Are you sure this is safe?”

Jonghyun hums affirmatively, unable to properly speak as he’s holding another tool in his mouth. They’re in Jonghyun’s apartment, since Minhyun offered to help build some shelving units. The shelves sit above their small television, one of them already holding a succulent. The ladder Minhyun is holding steady shakes a little with every one of Jonghyun’s movement. After awhile, Jonghyun removes the tool from his mouth and wipes off the excess sweat forming on his forehead. 

“That should be fine.” Jonghyun inspects the work with a pleased smile. It’s a little unnecessary, Minhyun belatedly realizes, but he holds Jonghyun’s hand as he descends from the ladder.

Wiping off the excess sweat on his jeans, Jonghyun turns to look at the wall inquistively. “What do you think?”

Minhyun crosses his arms and stares thoughtfully. “The one on the left is a little crooked.”

Jonghyun groans, putting his hands on his hips and squinting to find the mistake. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah,” Minhyun says nonchalantly, choosing the time to rearrange a couple of dvds on the coffee table. “You can’t tell right now but that succulent is very slowly tumbling down to its death. Inch by inch. Give it 50 years or so to create a landslide.”

Jonghyun throws a wayward glance at Minhyun. “Hilarious. Now help me clean up so we can have some lunch.” 

After cleaning up, Jonghyun convinces Minhyun that he’s quite an alright cook. So Minhyun watches in amusement, sitting by the kitchen counter as Jonghyun flies around the kitchen, happily humming an upbeat song. So far, Minhyun’s been eating out or eating meals made by the family’s chef. The food is amazing, don’t get Minhyun wrong. But there’s something it lacks, a wholly feeling, that Jonghyun’s cooking seems to fill. Jonghyun speaks with so much excitement, narrating the spices and techniques he’s using that Minhyun can’t help but grin fondly.

On the first sip of the soup, Minhyun leans back in his chair in quiet appreciation. The taste brings him back to one Christmas when the other members left to go home first. Jonghyun and Minhyun decided to stay together an extra day and wanted to cook a small feast between the two of them. Mostly, it was Jonghyun cooking and Minhyun supervising, but the laughter was loud, conversation was heartfelt, and the company was good. A perfect evening, to put it simply.

Satisfied with Minhyun’s response, Jonghyun holds his chin and leansin closer. “It’s good, right? Didn’t I say I was a good cook?” 

“When did you learn to cook?” Minhyun says, still impressed as he heartily devours the rest of the meal. 

“Someone had to support Youngmin. Poor thing almost burnt our kitchen down in first year trying to make _kimchi jjigae_.” Jonghyun laughs at the memory. 

“It’s incredible,” Minhyun assures again and quickly wipes his mouth with a tissue. “It tastes a lot like home.”

Jonghyun shakes his head, shyness creeping into his grin. He begins to put the dirty dishes in the sink. “I’m sure you have amazing chefs that do a way better job than I do.”

“I’m not talking about that,” Minhyun clarifies, tone distant yet nostalgic, as he walks over to help dry the dishes Jonghyun is washing. “Home is… was somewhere else.”

Jonghyun picks up another plate and starts rinsing slowly. “Where was that?”

“Closeby but far away at the same time. It’s difficult to go back.” The _I’m afraid to take the next step_ is left unsaid.

Minhyun’s distant tone makes Jonghyun pause and regard him inquisitively. Only for awhile, until Jonghyun slaps Minhyun’s back, jolting him back to reality. “You’re strange, Minhyun. Always talking as if you’ve lost time. I have an idea! What are your plans for the rest of today?”

Minhyun blinks, twice. Recalls that he has absolutely nothing. “I don’t think there’s anything--”

“Good,” Jonghyun interrupts, wiping his hands on the dish cloth by the stove. He grabs his key on the kitchen counter along with his wallet. Finally, he turns around to face Minhyun, hand outstretched. “Let’s go out.”

“Where?” But Minhyun’s already taking a firm grip of Jonghyun’s soft hand, ready to go wherever Jonghyun takes him.

He squeezes their hands tight. “Somewhere to take your mind off of things.”

 

 

 

Minhyun has explored Seoul before, back when he left Busan to pursue his trainee life. After debut, there wasn’t much time to see the colours and life that Seoul promised. It was work, work, work. Even here, in this world, he’s whisked away by endless schedules and meetings, or followed closely by guards.

Now, Minhyun takes an excited breath as he’s being dragged from scenery to scenery. Their first stop is at a Cheonggyecheon River, in a secluded area hidden away by lush organics. People are surrounding the body of water, but they’re too engrossed in their own conversations to pay any heed to them. 

They fill each other in about their lives so far, their thoughts and memories pour out of their hearts. Jonghyun was clever enough to stop by the local convenience store beforehand, so they munch on snacks together and share a can of pop. 

Insadong is their next stop and it is one of Jonghyun’s favourite place. Minhyun can tell why; filled with traditional Korean culture and crafts, it’s an artist’s paradise. Tourists litter the busy street, going from one store to the next with bags full of souvenirs. Excited shopkeepers are welcoming, geared with polite hello’s and charming smiles. They even get to witness artists on the street breathing life into their works, right in front of their very eyes. 

Pulling out his phone, Minhyun snaps a picture of Jonghyun lighting up as he’s talking about his favourite shop. Recognizing what happened, Jonghyun pouts, stating that it’s probably an unflattering photo, but Minhyun shakes his head. _You look handsome_ , he says and the blush that creeps along Jonghyun’s neck colours his cheeks. Later, Jonghyun convinces Minhyun to take a photo, so Minhyun poses, peace sign up right beside Jonghyun.

It’s nice. To have a little piece of each other close by. 

They end up stopping to try some street food. Dragon’s beard candy is popular in the streets of Insadong--thousands of layers of stringy honey wrapped with an explosive flavour in the centre. Minhyun licks his lips tastefully, savouring the unfamiliar sweetness, and Jonghyun jokes that this is probably the unhealthiest snack Minhyun is allowed to have. 

By the time they leave the crowded streets of Insadong, the sun is setting, peeking behind thin clouds, and the sky is decorated by various shades of warm hues. The chilly November breeze fills the small space between them as they’re walking towards their next destination. Buttoning up his coat for more warmth, Minhyun realizes Jonghyun is slightly shivering with only a cardigan. Reaching into the pockets of his coat, Minhyun pulls out a scarf and presents it to him.

Jonghyun pauses, a flash of amusement washing over his features. “It’s cold. You should wear it.”

“I have a coat. You’re only wearing a cardigan,” Minhyun states, gesturing again at the scarf for Jonghyun to take it. 

Jonghyun begins walking again, backwards this time as he looks at Minhyun softly, throwing his arms up in the air. “I haven’t been sick for years. I think I’ll be fine for our last adventure of the day.” 

Frowning slightly, Minhyun runs to catch up and throws the scarf around Jonghyun’s neck. Slowly wrapping it around, Minhyun sighs in content when Jonghyun’s looking up at him with bright eyes, nose tucked behind soft layers of fabric. They’re really so close, a little warm, with how they’re sharing body heat. Minhyun can stand there all day and count the eyelashes on Jonghyun. Instead, he chooses to look away. 

Pulling down the scarf so that his mouth is free to talk, Jonghyun says, “Thank you. You didn’t have to.” 

“You promised a day full of adventure. Can’t let you freeze to death before you’ve fulfilled it,” Minhyun humours the both of them, taking a tentative step back so they can both breathe.

With a laugh, Jonghyun says, “Well, I hope the day has lived up to expectations cause we’re finally at the last stop.”

When Minhyun looks up, he’s greeted by dozens and dozens of lanterns of different sizes and shapes. Some of them reach as high as the building next to it. Others float delicately on bodies of water, illuminating the reflections dancing across the landscape. 

Taking a good look around, Minhyun’s eyes are large and dumbfounded at how beautiful everything is. “Are we at--”

“The Seoul Lantern Festival,” Jonghyun says affirmatively, continuing to move forward, arms behind his back in deep thought as he dives into the history of the festival. 

“As you probably already know, the Olympics are being held in Korea for the second time next year. This year’s theme for the festival is PyeongChang: the Winter Olympics.” Jonghyun begins with Minhyun trailing closely behind. “South Korea held their first ever Olympic game roughly 30 years ago. It was difficult, though. In the beginning, we kept getting denied. Until finally, through our patience and tenacity, we were able to hold such an important event in our country.”

Minhyun nods in understanding as they slow to a stop by a bridge. Upon closer inspection, Minhyun finds that there are also lanterns decorating the underside of the structure. All roads are lit, highlighting all kinds of paths people take. 

“The Olympics are pretty great. You get to see the hard work that people train all their lives for, all the sweat and tears burned into their skin. But you see, it’s so much more than winning. So much more than the fame and glory.” Jonghyun looks out into the horizon, leaning on the edge of the bridge, his smile small but radiant. The image is strikingly similar to a memory. Minhyun starts to picture the day of the live show, the last day he truly talked to Jonghyun. His stomach churns uncomfortably. “Whether people get the outcome they’re looking for or not, the Olympics bring so many people together and encourage you to take new challenges. In the end, you may feel disappointment, but you learn a lot through hardship, through mistakes. Opportunities are kind of like that, don’t you think?”

Minhyun joins him by the edge, tilts his head left and right, unsure. On one hand, Minhyun understands what Jonghyun means. Of course opportunities are important steps to grow and mature. During Produce 101, they’ve learned so much about their own skills, their limits, _each other_. That’s different, though. That’s separate. The problem is that guilt becomes another entire ballpark Minhyun is tired of navigating.

“But what if you’re the one who ruins it for someone? All their hard work shattered while you get a free pass,” Minhyun finally says, carding his fingers through his hair and breaking the silence. He still feels a little frustrated. 

“Now you’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Jonghyun quips back seriously, ready to challenge Minhyun. 

“I don’t think I’m at the emotional capacity to properly understand the situation, let alone my own feelings.”

“That’s fair,” Jonghyun reassures, pushing himself back from the railing, momentarily wobbling before finding his composure. “You don’t need to push yourself until you feel ready. ” 

“Thank you,” Minhyun says, a small seed of hope grows in his chest. He’s feeling much lighter than he did a few hours ago. Sometimes, Minhyun forgets how nice it is to have people listen. 

“Just remember, you deserve to be happy, too.” Jonghyun swivels in front of Minhyun’s view, index finger up and face determined. The comment is so innocent, Minhyun chuckles and hums in agreement. 

Walking alongside each other in comfortable silence, shoulders bumping, shy giggles shared, they reach a bench at a high hill overlooking Seoul to sit down. The sky has finally darkened considerably. Now the city’s skyline is illuminated by the city lights and lanterns alike. The day is coming to an end but Minhyun doesn’t want it to.

Jonghyun nudges Minhyun by the shoulder gently. His hands are nervously playing with the fabric of the scarf. “So, how would you rate your day? With 1 being ‘I hope I never have to spend another day with this dweeb again’, to 10 being ‘would happily sign my life away to this guy’.”

Minhyun pretends to contemplate deeply by holding his chin with his thumb and forefinger, earning a lighthearted glare from Jonghyun. “9.8 with room for improvement.” He doesn’t tell Jonghyun that they’re already bounded by another fate. Hopefully, for an indefinite period of time. Jonghyun shoves him playfully. “I’m just kidding. I enjoyed it tremendously. You’re really wonderful company.” 

Jonghyun is short enough that when he swings his legs, his feet don’t touch the ground. “That’s good to hear. I really like being around you, too.”

The confession hangs high in the air. This time, it’s Minhyun’s turn to blush. There’s a speck of lint on Jonghyun’s cheekbone and Minhyun flicks it off lightly, fingers now ghosting over Jonghyun’s skin.

When their eyes meet, a few seconds too long to call it casual, Minhyun almost swears over how Jonghyun glitters alongside the starry night. It’s the briefest of moments, but Jonghyun’s gaze flickers down to his lips before outlining Minhyun’s face again, and Minhyun feels like he’s been thrown against the wall, his heart ripped out and displayed for the world to see. There’s a ringing in his ear, a drumming deep inside, a force pushing Minhyun to move forward. If Minhyun leans in, just a few inches closer, he could kiss Jonghyun. 

But Minhyun’s a coward, always been one. He’s _choking_ , and he just can’t do it. Doesn’t want to potentially ruin another good thing he has in his life, much less with the same person.

Until Jonghyun is the one who leans in, aligning their lips together in the quickest of kiss. A peck that has Minhyun whirlwinding back to stare at Jonghyun with surprise and a hint of adoration. Jonghyun who catches his eyes, tentative smile gradually blooming across his face. 

Before Minhyun can say anything, they’re interrupted by loud whispers. People are starting to cross their path, festival gear in tow, intruding on their private moment. Some people even recognize Minhyun, hands flying up to cover their mouths in excitement.

Jonghyun is the first to look away, eyes clouded, and Minhyun wishes he knew what Jonghyun was thinking. Jonghyun stands up, brushing off the dust on his pants. Offering a hand to Minhyun, Jonghyun’s grin reaching the corners of his eyes. “C’mon, let’s go home.” 

Minhyun doesn’t say anything about what that implies. Yet, he silently takes the hand and is lead away, heart fluttering against his chest.

Wow, he really likes Jonghyun.

 

 

 

 

Neither of them speak about the kiss. About any of the lingering feelings they might have. It’s better this way, Minhyun thinks, because every time his mind wanders to it, his heart swells to the size of the Earth and that’s just too big of a feeling to handle.

They still meet up, of course. Nothing will stop Jonghyun’s persistence in showing Minhyun a good time. However, these times are filled with glances lingering a second longer than necessary, hands hover close but never intertwined, and Minhyun tries really hard not to look at Jonghyun’s lips. 

The attempt fails, obviously. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Jonghyun teases, angling his head sideways to grin at Minhyun knowingly.

They’re both taking painting lessons at Insadong. Each of them are holding a paintbrush and a palette in the other hand, faces focused. Where Jonghyun’s palette is filled with cool colours, somehow carefully matching his quiet demeanor, Minhyun’s burns with harsh tones of red and orange.

“Hmmm,” Minhyun murmurs intelligently. Taking a swipe from his palette, Minhyun paints a red line down Jonghyun’s cheek. “Now you do.”

Jonghyun grimaces and begins wiping it off with the back of his hand. “If you wanted to touch my face again, all you had to do was ask.”

Minhyun sputters incoherently, almost dropping his paintbrush in the progress. “What is that supposed to mean?!”

Shrugging, Jonghyun pretends to go back to his painting. Now, he’s outlining various shapes with harsh strokes of white. “I’m just saying, there’s no point in beating around the bush. At least, I’m hoping I’m not reading into things incorrectly…” Jonghyun trails off, now, a flash of insecurity washing over him. 

“I--no. I mean, I do!” Minhyun promptly rectifies when he sees Jonghyun’s face fall.

Jonghyun’s face brightens considerably, seconds after. Like he purposely wanted Minhyun flustered. As it turns out, Jonghyun is as cunning as he is kind. “Then ask and you shall receive.” 

Minhyun squints, setting his paintbrush down on the easel. Straightening his back, Minhyun’s hand rests on his thighs, trying to assess the absurdity of the situation. “Are you courting me?”

“Is this what it is?” Jonghyun’s grin is wide and teasing. 

“I’m a prince. I definitely know you’re courting me.” 

Let’s ignore that he hasn’t been a prince for more than a few months. What does he really know, to be honest. 

“Well then,” Jonghyun says, taking a second to ponder before reaching out to hold Minhyun’s hand, “I guess I am.”

“Good,” Minhyun says with much finality as he can muster, one hand holding a paintbrush again and the other squeezing Jonghyun’s hand. He’s trying to hide how giddy he’s feeling.

“Good?” Minhyun hears the echo from beside him. The tone is light and cheery. Almost in disbelief. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Minhyun confirms, definitely flustered, and the laughter from beside him nearly makes him mess up his painting. 

 

 

 

 

The thing with falling in love with Jonghyun is that Minhyun thinks he might’ve _always been in love_ with Jonghyun. 

The feeling comes in waves, sneaking up when Minhyun least expects it. Sometimes it brings Minhyun up to immeasurable heights, all the happiness alongside the autumn breeze, and then it crashes down, slow, yet all at once. It’s always there--just like how the morning sky is forever blue, exactly like how the grass is always green.

It’s the little things, that remind Minhyun so much of the boy he adores. Like showing up to lunch with Jonghyun already there, cutting the meat for Daniel. Or another time, when they’re on the way to their weekend getaway, Seongwoo’s car ended up malfunctioning, and Jonghyun was quick to think on the spot, organizing towing services and renting another car. All in an impressive hour. They reach the cottage scat free, except for Jaehwan’s complaints about motion sickness.

Kind, helpful, thoughtful Jonghyun. Ready to pick up your pieces and push you in the right direction before you even realize you needed that shove.

Jonghyun really makes loving that easy. 

It’s strange, how Minhyun thought he could just separate two worlds when it’s so much more simple than that. Since the beginning, the answer has been right in front of his eyes. It’s glaringly obvious, now. The Jonghyun in this world is the same Jonghyun he has grown to know and love for the better part of his life.

There’s so much they already know about each other, all the good and bad. Positive encouragement always on hand when the going gets tough, or when Minhyun forgets his pen for class and Jonghyun pulls an extra one out of his pocket. They fit each other like missing puzzle pieces, like they were meant to fit. Just like a King and his right hand man. 

The other thing is, sure, they declared that they have some sort of feelings for each other. Yet, that’s just it. Nothing has been expanded on from that kiss. No explanation for what they are to each other. Their hangouts continue to be the same and it annoys Minhyun that he feels like they’re moving forward, and staying in the same place all at once. 

He really, just maybe, wants to kiss Jonghyun again.

 

 

 

 

It’s a couple of weeks after their first date, with many more following. They promised to meet up tonight for a study date at Jonghyun’s place. So after school, Minhyun tries to hurry on home to change.

Minding his own business, Minhyun’s walking down the parking lot with his headphones in his ears when someone honks nearby. The car rolls to a stop and Minhyun squints at the sight. Seongwoo’s in the driver’s seat with Jaehwan in the passenger, big sunglasses covering his tiny face.

“Get in loser. We’re going shopping,” Jaehwan says from the passenger seat, sunglasses halfway down his face so he can look at Minhyun expectantly. Seongwoo jokingly gags, Minhyun mimics him with a wary, pained expression. 

Daniel rolls down the window from the back and waves happily. “He’s lying. We’re just about to go eat. You want to join?”

Minhyun fixes the bag on his shoulders and grips it tighter. “I’m actually about to see Jonghyun. Maybe another day?”

“I knew it,” Jaehwan hisses, almost venomously, slamming his fist on the dashboard for good measure. “He’s plotting to steal you and declare you as his best friend! Quick, Seongwoo! Kidnap him! We need to go under remedial treatment. Operation: Brainwash Minhyun Into Thinking We’re His Only Friends.” 

Seongwoo ignores him, choosing to stare at Minhyun suspiciously. “Maybe some other day then.”

Awkwardly swaying on the spot, Minhyun decides to peer into the car. “Where’s Sewoon?”

“On a date,” Seongwoo enunciates, brows wiggling suggestively. “With Youngmin.”

Minhyun vaguely remembers speaking to Jonghyun about Youngmin’s little crush on Sewoon. But then his mind goes back to the scene he witnessed backstage of the live show and _oh_. He wonders if feelings transfer throughout universes, as well. 

Minhyun purses his lips. “I’m happy for them. I hope it all goes well.” 

Seongwoo taps the steering wheel tentatively before looking at Minhyun square in the face. “Yeah, I hope yours does too.” 

At that, Seongwoo drives off before Minhyun can utter anything. Seongwoo can’t possibly know, can he? 

 

 

 

Jooseok is waiting for Minhyun outside of the car today. Greeting him, Minhyun is about to slip inside when Jooseok stops him. 

“We’ll be going back home. The Emperor wishes to speak with you first before you meet Jonghyun-sshi,” Jooseok explains.

Minhyun nods, meekly. It’s not like he can go against his father’s wishes. 

As much as Minhyun has been busy with Jonghyun, it goes the same for his duties as Crown Prince. He’s starting to take it very seriously. 

Minhyun is starting to fit into this life so seamlessly, it’s almost as if this was what he was meant to do. Choreography gets forgotten, his memory being filled with royal duties and understanding government policies instead. He doesn’t have much power, really. But attending these meetings prepares him in some way. Being pushed into a position Minhyun doesn’t know anything about is frustrating. Like this, he takes matters into his own hands so he could never feel inadequate. 

He’s learned enough now, to contribute to conversations with various important personnel.  
Minhyun’s improvement is so great, within the past few weeks, his father pulls him aside after a government meeting with high praise. “I’m proud with how much you have learned. I know you’re not comfortable with it, but I appreciate your efforts,” his father offers, somewhat sadly, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly, and Minhyun softens at how he finds some aspects of the father he knew growing up within this moment. 

The thought makes Minhyun warm and he continues to busy himself, quietly slipping into forced schedules and routines.

The car ride is filled with small talk. It takes awhile for Jooseok to warm up to him, to forgo strict obedience, until Minhyun encourages Jooseok to be on friendlier terms as it would make him more comfortable. Minhyun learns to exercise some power, but it’s never to gain more of it. Only enough so that he can gain some sanity.

By the time the car pushes past the gates, Minhyun throws the door open and is greeted by Sujin at the front steps of their home.

“You might freak out,” Sujin breaks the news, anxious fingers fiddling with her necklace, and something akin to a miserable groan resonates out of his mouth.

“Oh, you don’t even know half the story of my current predicament,” Minhyun mumbles, moving across the empty hallway in long strides.

“Minhyun,” Sujin calls out, and the worried tone makes Minhyun halt in his tracks to look at her quizzically. “Just remember, people can’t dictate your life.”

Unsure of the implications, they end off on an ambiguous note as Minhyun enters his father’s office. The office bears resemblance to the President’s office, back at Pledis. With the change of government, the royal family no longer lives in Goyeongbokgung Palace. Although there is still an air of elegance in their home, much of the furniture is modern. Too new, for Minhyun’s taste.

The current Emperor sits behind a wooden desk, tailored suit freshly ironed. He’s sitting on a leather chair, and it squeaks while he moves from drawer to drawer, bringing up the necessary paperwork to be read over. When he finally acknowledges Minhyun’s presence, he gestures over to the chair with a curt nod and Minhyun seats himself awkwardly.

He’s incredibly underdressed, unprepared, and similar to the feeling before, something uncomfortable and heavy weighs on his shoulder. 

“I heard you’re doing well on your studies,” his father laminates, and Minhyun is positive there is something more to this impromptu meeting.

“I am,” Minhyun confirms, perfect posture at his beck and will. 

“That’s great,” his father comments, sets aside a document he already signed. “South Korea needs a competent, educated Emperor.”

Minhyun looks up at him with wide-eyes, lips dried. 

“The people of South Korea needs a new leader,” his father puts it simply, intertwining his fingers together to stare at Minhyun earnestly. “I’m nearing the age where I’ve ran my course. It’s been a good few decades of serving my country and it’s time I pass that responsibility onto you, Minhyun. I’ve seen you conducting meetings, being friendly and impressionable with the public. The government loves you, the people love you. There’s no doubt about it.”

Minhyun finds his throat clogged, desperately wanting to tell his father he’s not prepared. That he never will be. This isn’t something Minhyun is supposed to do.

“I’m not sure I’m prepared. I don’t have enough experience,” Minhyun finally manages, voice mixed between sounding strained and worried.

His father waves him off. “Being an Emperor isn’t just about understanding laws. It’s about understanding _our people_. We exist to represent the people’s concerns and happiness, through all the good and bad times. I can’t imagine anyone else who better to take on the role than you, Minhyun.”

Minhyun looks away, trying to focus on anything but the conversation. The palms of his hands are sweaty, ridden with anxiousness.

His father continues, unaware of the inner turmoil in Minhyun. Or maybe he chooses to ignore it. “The transition will be slow but we are already making plans to make it smooth and painless. Which brings us to another matter. Part of your duties as an Emperor is to produce an heir.” 

This gets Minhyun’s attention almost immediately. 

“I--What?” Disbelieving tone masking how scared he actually is.

“Securing the bloodline is imperative,” his father says with so much finality, Minhyun knows there is no room for arguments. He gets up to quietly walk over to Minhyun, putting a sympathetic hand on Minhyun’s shoulders. “I know you feel like your life is being planned and you think you have no say in it, but that’s incorrect. There’re going to be a few rough patches, bouts of insecurity, even, until you see the fruits of your labour.” 

“What if the sacrifices aren’t worth it?” Minhyun questions, in a poor attempt to fight a losing battle.

He finally gets back to his seat, arms splayed across the chair’s arm. “That’s not what you were taught to believe in.” 

Right, because apparently, Minhyun is supposed to always be prepared for every obstacle in his life. That’s what got him in this mess. That’s what got him into Produce 101. Endlessly navigating unfamiliar territory when the world expects him to already know how. It seems like everything is coming full circle, and still, Minhyun feels like he’s lacking. 

So, of course, he bites back what he wants to say. 

“I understand.” Minhyun bows, more than 90 degrees. There’s almost something spiteful with his intentions as he turns around on his heels without looking at his father in the face. 

He doesn’t go to Jonghyun’s that night.

 

 

 

 

Word gets out that the Crown Prince is to be married. 

Every news reporter in South Korea line the gates of the royal family’s estate, waiting with bated breath, cameras at the ready to take a picture of the soon to be Emperor. Not only is the future engagement a special occasion to be shared with the people of South Korea, it marks an end, and promises a new beginning that they will all walk towards. 

It’s a huge deal. 

Seongwoo is the first to call Minhyun, outraged and a little bit dramatically betrayed.

“What the fuck?!” Minhyun puts his face away from the phone as Seongwoo nearly screams into the receiver. “When is the wedding? Who are you even marrying? Do I need a special suit? Wait--Am I going to be your best man? I fucking better be. I didn’t deal with your ass for 15 years to be left at the altar.” 

Minhyun humours Seongwoo by not correcting him that they’re not the ones getting married. “You will be,” Minhyun comforts him, before exhaling tiredly. “I’m not sure who it is going to be with, though.”

“What?” Seongwoo says, slowly trailing off into deep thought. Static resonates through the brief pause. “You don’t get to choose? I always thought you’d be with… Never mind.”

Minhyun ignores the last part. “There’s a lot to prepare as best man. I hope you’re ready.” 

Seongwoo’s mood brightens, quickly launching into crazy plans he somehow always has. “I’m going to plan the wildest Bachelor’s Party. The country is going to wish they’ll never have you as their Emperor.”

“Yeah, I can see it now. World’s Most Hated Emperor.” 

“Please, nothing you do will make them hate you.”

They both laugh it off, promising to meet up later to plan things. 

The rest of their group of friends send congratulatory messages, and the worst part of it all is that Jonghyun does too. 

It happens at school. The table starts cheering when Minhyun nears. Jonghyun is the only one who offers a small smile while everyone shoves Minhyun enthusiastically, clapping his back in awe. Party streamers are being popped left and right, courtesy of Jaehwan. They even got a sash that says ‘ _Hwang-je_ Minhyun’ in bright red text. 

From the corner of Minhyun’s eyes, Jonghyun is packing up to leave and something heavy drops inside of Minhyun.

Frantically moving towards Jonghyun, Minhyun almost backpedals when he realizes just how close he is as Jonghyun looks up, eyes round and lips parted.

There’s so much he wants to say but he doesn’t know where to start. Apologize? But they’re _not even dating_. That’s the frustrating part. Minhyun doesn’t know where he stands with Jonghyun. Not that it matters anymore, really.

“Hey,” Jonghyun says so easily, as if any of this actually is.

“How are you?” Minhyun asks carefully.

“I’ve been better,” Jonghyun replies with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

The silence is laced with awkwardness.

Before Minhyun can get another word out, Jonghyun stands up to sling his bag over his shoulder. “I guess I should get going…”

“Right,” Minhyun says dumbly, taking a step back so Jonghyun can leave. Even though Minhyun doesn’t want that at all.

Jonghyun takes a deep breath. “Congratulations again, by the way. I know you’ll do great. I’ve always believed in you.”

With that, Jonghyun leaves along with Minhyun’s heart.

It sucks, Minhyun realizes, how close he was to being with Jonghyun, only for it to be taken away again. First, to debut. And now, this. Maybe the universe is telling Minhyun they can never be together and wow, is it ever a blow.

They don’t see each other at school much after that. Somehow, Jonghyun always knows when Minhyun is with their little group and successfully avoids any contact. 

Anytime Minhyun nears the group, Jonghyun makes some weird convoluted excuse to leave or he chooses not to be there entirely.

So Minhyun busies himself with preparing for the coronation. And meeting potential spouses.

“I like the one with the hair,” Seongwoo says, flipping through Minhyun’s notebook tastefully. He makes a couple of weird faces while scanning the pages.

“They all have hair,” Minhyun reminds him, burying his face in his hands and sounding all sorts of miserable. Minhyun can feel Seongwoo’s eyes burning into his skull.

“Hey there, want to tell uncle Seongwoo what’s wrong?” Putting the book down, Seongwoo goes over to pat his head soothingly.

Minhyun brushes him off with a pointed look. “First of all, don’t ever call yourself that again. It gives me the creeps. Second of all, I thought I could do this but I can’t seem to focus.”

Seongwoo peers at him curiously. “Is there a reason why?”

Minhyun shrugs, tapping his fingers against the smooth mahogany finish of the desk. “I don’t know. All my life, it was easy to follow what was expected of me. I sincerely thought if I worked hard enough, I would be happy once I reached my goals. Yet something always falls short of expectations and it’s unsatisfying to the point where it’s becoming unbearable.”

Minhyun is now restlessly fiddling with the tassels near the curtain while waiting for a response. Finally, Seongwoo speaks out, “You know you don’t have to go through with this, right?”

Minhyun frowns, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. “Why does everyone say that? I can’t just abandon my duties.”

“It’s not abandoning your duties,” Seongwoo clarifies, sounding equally irritable. Seongwoo’s pacing up and down the room, stopping by the large window to brush his hair back as he looks out pensively. “I’ve known you for so long. It’s this weird perpetual circle of regret you always go through. You believe you have to follow these strict narratives people lay out for you, when, in reality, you have the ability to follow your heart.”

Minhyun fidgets in his seat, anxiousness growing steadily like a storm brewing. “There’s so much at stake. One wrong move and the public will hold it against me forever. Against the people I care about. I’m fine with people ridiculing me, I can handle it. I just can’t stand it when I disappoint the people I love.”

The feeling brings him back to the ending of Produce 101, when the live cameras are turned off, and Minhyun should be overjoyous from debuting, but he’s so overwhelmed, riddled with all sorts of emotions that contribute nothing to the outcome. Instead of Minhyun comforting Jonghyun, it’s the other way around, with Jonghyun soothingly brushing back his hair, thumb and forefinger gently holding his cheek to wipe away fallen tears. Minhyun wants Jonghyun to stop being so fucking selfless for once. All Jonghyun’s ever given is kindness and it backfires. Why is the world so unfair.

There’s a pregnant pause before Seongwoo speaks, and Minhyun wonders how Seongwoo _knew_. 

“Jonghyun likes you,” Seongwoo finally lets out, as if he’s been holding a secret for too long, forced to take a deep breath before he drowns. 

Minhyun finds his throat dry, an itch creeps up the curve of his back. “I know.”

“He’s not exactly subtle. Neither are you,” Seongwoo says, looking at him fondly, eyes looking for answers he knows Minhyun can’t possibly provide. “No offence, but haven’t you already hurt him? I don’t know the whole story, I might never, but if you think there’s any way Jonghyun can hold a grudge against you, you might be more stupid than I think.” 

Minhyun snorts at the comment. It should offend him, but it doesn’t, knowing it’s coming from Seongwoo. 

“Why are you so reluctant?” 

“Because it’s not black and white, Seongwoo.” Minhyun accidentally lashes out, regret instantly pooling in his tone. Seongwoo catches his apologetic gaze and sends him a smile. “This is bigger than Jonghyun and I.”

“I’m not trying to pick a fight with you,” Seongwoo says, and Minhyun flattens at the response. His hands feel incredibly clammy. “I don’t know, honestly. I’ll never know how you feel and the struggles you face. I’m just saying that maybe it’s time you start writing your own story. You’re not as powerless as you think you are.”

Minhyun joins Seongwoo by the window, both observing the restless press lined up outside the estate. “And if it’s not the right decision?”

“Sometimes what the mind thinks is the wrong decision is exactly what we need,” Seongwoo supplies thoughtfully, closing the curtain, and somehow setting Minhyun at ease.

Minhyun laughs, visibly brighter despite how dark the room is currently. “That’s not very reassuring.”

Seongwoo smirks, choosing to lean against the desk, hands behind to steady him. “It’s okay. You have us behind you, every step of the way,” Seongwoo challenges, now staring at him with a sort of fiery fierceness Minhyun is not used to but grows to love. 

Seongwoo is right, has always been. Minhyun is just slow to realize. There are so many times where Minhyun blindly follows what’s expected. From now on, Minhyun wants to be in charge of his own destiny, no matter how cheesy that may be. 

When Minhyun rises, face determined, Seongwoo quietly slips in front and hugs him. Minhyun sort of feels like crying. 

“You can thank me later. I’m expecting a huge celebration with 5000 balloons,” Seongwoo jokes, gently patting both of Minhyun’s cheeks. “Go talk to him. Who knows. You might be surprised at the outcome.” 

 

 

 

 

Maybe Minhyun’s supposed to be a romantic, stuck to star in some tragic love story because he, as the main character, can never get his shit together.

Instead of driving over to Jonghyun’s place, Minhyun catches himself waiting at the bench at the site of the lantern festival. He fired off a text half a hour ago, hoping that Jonghyun’s willing to grant him the company. Glancing into the distance, he finds that he’s relatively alone save for two kids playing by the water.

It felt like what must’ve been forever, waiting under the streetlights for Jonghyun to arrive. That’s what his nerves tell him, that Minhyun’s making a mistake. _Go home before you’re disappointed_. It creeps through his veins until he’s left shivering at the thought.

But he remains calm, because Jonghyun deserves honesty at the very least. 

Another half an hour later, Jonghyun arrives, looking lost and cautious. He’s wearing a heavy wool coat, eyes peeking behind what Minhyun realizes is his scarf. 

“I never know what you’re thinking,” Jonghyun says as casual as possible, voice getting muffled behind the scarf. He slides into the seat beside Minhyun. They’re shoulder to shoulder, almost touching. 

“I try not to be a confusing person,” Minhyun jokes lightly and he feels Jonghyun move beside him, softly laughing. 

“This might be the only thing you’re bad at, Hwang Minhyun. So,” Jonghyun begins, demeanour switching quickly to assess the situation, “to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

At this, Minhyun turns around to catch Jonghyun’s lingering gaze. “I’ve been stupid. About a lot of things the past few months. Maybe my entire life, even. When things happened that were out of my control, I thought it would be easier to blame myself. I kind of lost sight about all the small things that made me happy. And I took a lot of things for granted.”

The kids are stationed near the shallow end of the water, singing a song underneath the starry sky. A little later, their parents walk out from around the corner, gesturing at them to go home. They run forward, arms clinging on their parents legs as they amicably chat about their day. 

Jonghyun continues to listen on intently. 

“I thought about what you said. About opportunities and choices and finding my heart underneath this mess called life. Hidden, but always there. And ultimately, that home is probably closer than I thought it was.” Minhyun scrunches his nose, leaning back slightly to look at the trees surrounding them.

“I really love you,” Minhyun’s voice almost breaking from the confession, but growing stronger, almost in disbelief at how easy it was to say. “I love that you don’t recognize how your kindness touches the hearts of so many people, mine included. I love that you don’t give up, you hold yourself high and strong so that you become someone else’s pillar even though you’re moments away from breaking down. I love that you can’t stand the cold, but you’re willing to show me around Seoul in the midst of November. Or the way you shyly dart your eyes when you’re feeling flustered. I love that you complete my day, whether with a simple grin or a text message of a photo that made your day. From the top of your head, your eyes, nose and lips, all the way down to the tip of your toes, Kim Jonghyun, I find it hard not to love every single part of you.”

The wind picks up, only for a moment, until all they can hear are the leaves rustling around them. It dies down, after a while. The only noise he can hear is his heart beating loudly against his chest. He briefly wonders if Jonghyun feels the same.

“You know,” Jonghyun starts with a low chuckle, nose sniffling because of the cold, or something else entirely that Jonghyun just won’t admit to. “When we first started talking, and then spending our days together, I always thought there was something extremely familiar about you.” 

Minhyun waits with bated breath. 

“Like--There was almost no need to break down each other’s walls. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like we’ve known each other our entire lives,” Jonghyun admits. 

“I don’t think there’s anything strange about that.” Minhyun keeps the secret close to his heart, where it happily beats. 

“Before I knew it, you wormed your way into my life to stay,” Jonghyun’s smile is sincere, and it’s like the sun has risen amongst the darkness. 

They sit with one another in comfortable silence, feeling giddy and cheeks warming. Eventually, Minhyun is the one to take Jonghyun’s hand to intertwine it with us. For once, Minhyun takes charge of his life and he still doesn’t know if it’s the right thing, but they’ll work through it together. 

So, it’s nice to finally know where they stand together, Minhyun supposes. But there are other matters that he still has to figure out first. 

“I don’t want to be Emperor,” Minhyun says, standing up and pulling Jonghyun along. Jonghyun puts a hand on Minhyun’s chest to stop them from colliding into each other. “I don’t want to be married. I don’t want any of it.”

There’s something symbolic about this all, about letting go, feeling the wind in his hair, heart light and lungs on fire. As if there is some sort of physical manifestation of freedom that Minhyun is tasting for the very first time. 

“I’m glad you’re finally pushing out of your shell, Minhyun, but what are you supposed to tell millions of people who are waiting for your coronation and wedding?” Jonghyun asks worriedly, nose so red, Minhyun kind of wants to kiss it silly. So he does. Jonghyun scrunches his nose, evoking a small laughter from Minhyun.

“I have something in mind, but I’m not sure if it’s going to work.” Minhyun locks onto Jonghyun’s wide-eyed stare. “I’m just afraid of losing you.”

Jonghyun squeezes their hands tightly. “There is nowhere you could go that I won’t find you again.”

 

 

 

 

Finding Sujin is a difficult feat. To Minhyun’s knowledge, she’s already worked herself up to become a high ranking government official, constantly flying in and out of meetings that she leads. If Minhyun thought he was busy, Sujin makes Minhyun’s life look like child’s play.

It takes a few hours but Minhyun finally pins her down when she returns home close to midnight. In the middle of taking off her shoes, she bumps her head in surprise when spots Minhyun in the shadows. 

“Holy shit,” Sujin almost screams, aggressively shoving Minhyun back and clutching her chest. “Don’t ever do that again! You look like a fucking murderer standing in the dark waiting.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Minhyun immediately apologizes, face passive in acceptance as she dumps her bag and coat into his arms. “I needed to talk to you and I didn’t know when you’d be home.”

Sujin sends a peeved glance his way, hands on her hips. “We live in an age of technology, Minhyun! Have you heard of texting or are you secretly a 70 year old man?”

Minhyun shifts on his heels nervously. “This is important. I wanted to speak to you about it in person.”

Sujin’s back is currently turned, and he hears something pop and the clinking of glasses. When Sujin turns around, she’s carrying two glasses of wine and offers one to him. “Oh wait, you don’t drink anymore, huh.”

Minhyun shakes his head politely. Sujin takes a seat in their living room and then downs one glass of wine in a shot. 

“What did you want to talk about?” she asks, casually sipping on the other glass of wine with her legs crossed.

“I’ll have to be Emperor,” Minhyun states, more of a reminder to himself. 

“You’re more calm than I thought you would be,” Sujin says a little proudly, tucking some hair behind her ear so she can lean forward to listen better.

“Can I be honest? I’m so nervous I think I could die,” Minhyun admits and they share a laugh.

She sets the glass down on the coffee table, looking at him square in the face. “I’m glad you’re nervous. You’d be stupid if you weren’t.”

“Noona, I don’t think I should be Emperor,” Minhyun breaks the news as quick and painless as possible, with as much confidence as he can muster. He peeks over at Sujin who looks at him blankly, hand freezing mid-air from what she was doing. 

“Forgive my swearing but _what the fuck_?” she almost spits, eyes bulging out as if her world just got turned upside down. “I thought everything was going fine! Father was telling me about your progress and I just--I’m so confused, Minhyun. Please enlighten me.”

“I was never meant to do this. Look at me!” Minhyun starts to gesticulate wildly to himself. Sujin continues to give him a blank unimpressed stare. “I can’t even tie my shoes without help. You called it months ago. I’m a lost cause.”

Grabbing her full attention, Sujin stands up to sit beside him. She holds Minhyun’s hand with her own, cold and shaking. “Minhyun this isn’t just about you. What’s going to happen when Dad is gone? The people need us.”

Minhyun claps his hand around hers. “They need _you_.”

Sujin’s face falls, only for a bit, as she takes in the message. Shaking her head, she says, “No, are you insane? I can’t--”

Minhyun interrupts her. “Remember that time I woke up lost and confused? You were the only one who guided me, who continued to guide me. You listened to my concerns and offered the best outcomes. I’ve never seen anyone who has worked as hard as you have to help make our country a better place.” Minhyun pushes her hand close to her heart. He swears he can see Sujin starting to tear up. “Your heart beats with the people of South Korea. No one is better suited for this role than you.” 

“But dad--”

“I already spoke to him. And before you ask: no. He wasn’t particularly happy about me withdrawing my claim to the throne,” Minhyun snorts, finally letting go of her hands. Feeling bold and needing a boost of confidence, he takes the wine glass from the table to take a swig, sticking his tongue out after in mild disgust. “There was a bit of an argument until I brought you up. I’ve never seen him so calm in his life. Needless to say the decision was made. Simple as that.”

Sujin continues to stay silent, but Minhyun notices how her eyes are no longer wet, a little red around the edges, but beaming bright nonetheless.

“So my question to you is this, Hwang Sujin,” Minhyun turns to face his sister, one arm bent at the stomach to bow, while Sujin just rolls her eyes. “Will you be South Korea’s Empress forever and always?”

There’s a moment of silence before Sujin fixes her posture, sniffling a little to clear her throat. “Of course, you dolt. I can’t possibly leave it to incompetent people like you, now can I?” Despite the teasing remark, Minhyun accepts the statement heartily. They smile warmly at each other. 

“Thank you, Minhyun. Really.” 

And with this promise, they move towards a brighter future together.

 

 

 

 

The Coronation ends successfully, with tears in Sujin and the people’s eyes alike. Just as they predicted, everyone fell in love with Sujin as their Empress. It’s hard not to. 

In a blink of an eye, a full day of festivities pass by. Life’s not too different for Minhyun. He still gets dragged away to schedules left and right, but this time, he has someone by his side. 

“Hey,” Jonghyun greets, pulling Minhyun to a secluded corner and Minhyun melts at the sight. Jonghyun’s in casual formal wear, white buttoned up dress shirt paired with black trousers. 

“You look beautiful,” Minhyun says. Jonghyun looks up, round eyes reflecting the vast lighting in the room. He could get lost in Jonghyun’s eyes for days.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Jonghyun compliments, reaching up to fix Minhyun’s tie. After he’s satisfied, Jonghyun puts both hands on Minhyun’s chest and leans in to give Minhyun a quick peck. 

They’ve shared plenty of kisses over the past few months. Many hidden, and a few in front of their friends who coo but scream all at once. Each time is as electrifying as the last. They leave him breathless, and safe, and happy. 

Man, Jonghyun makes him so incredibly happy.

To be honest, if someone asked Minhyun what he imagined his future to be, he never thought it would be anything like this. 

Unsatisfied, Minhyun tries to chase Jonghyun’s lips, whimpers a little when he gets stopped by a finger. Minhyun’s arms are now wrapped around Jonghyun’s waist. They’re close, but Minhyun wants to be closer. Why is his boyfriend being so unfair?

“I love you,” Jonghyun says. He bites on his lips nervously and Minhyun’s heart bangs against his chest. For the longest time, Minhyun was the only one who expressed it. 

Now, Minhyun is probably the happiest damn guy on earth. 

He leans down to kiss Jonghyun, matching smiles on both their faces. Between hushed giggles and shy kisses, Minhyun thinks this is exactly where he wants to be. 

 

 

 

 

When Minhyun wakes up the next morning, he’s surprised to find the other side of his bed empty and cold. Kicking his blankets off, Minhyun rubs away the sleep from his eyes and immediately stills at the sight. 

He’s back in the dorms. 

Frantically running out of bed, he opens the door and runs to the living room. Jonghyun is standing in front of the stove, humming a song, the song he always sings whenever he’s cooking. 

He must’ve been awkwardly standing there for a few minutes too long when Jonghyun speaks out. “You don’t have to stand there all day, you know.”

“Right,” is all Minhyun can say as he slowly walks to the kitchen counter, sitting at one of the bar stools.

Jonghyun comes around with some eggs, toast and _banchan_. He takes the seat beside Minhyun. 

“Are you excited?” Jonghyun asks, taking a bite out of the toast. Minhyun stares at him blankly, blinking a couple of times for good measure. It’s been so long. “Why do you look like a deer caught in headlights? You’re moving dorms! Shouldn’t that be exciting?”

Ah, right. This must be the day after the finale. 

Clearing his throat, Minhyun mumbles, “I know. I just--I don’t want to leave, though.” 

Jonghyun puts down the chopsticks to look at Minhyun softly. “Are you still upset?”

At that, Minhyun shakes his head, earning a perplexed stare from Jonghyun. “No, I’m not. And I’m sorry for acting that way. I probably sounded ungrateful.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry for being upset. Everyone’s allowed to have bad days. You’d never be a bother to us, Minhyun.” Jonghyun’s resting his chin on both hands now.

“You’re right,” Minhyun says, a wave of calmness spreads over him. He’s kind of new to accepting his own feelings. “You guys will always be here.”

“You say that as if it’s hard to believe,” Jonghyun chuckles, a bit amused at the situation. “I’m your family, of course I’ll always be here.” 

_And that’s why home is always with you_ , Minhyun wants to say but holds back, opting to quietly enjoy the warm feeling in his heart. 

“I love you,” Minhyun says instead, feeling completely content. 

“I love you, too,” Jonghyun completes it easily, grin growing wider. 

They both eat quietly, enjoying each other’s company until Minhyun is scheduled to move out. But that’s the funny thing, Minhyun realizes. No matter how far they think they are from each other, they’re connected by some immovable force through time. 

Minhyun will always have a home back with Jonghyun. It’s already written in the universe.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading this mess ;; i'm not entirely used to writing in this tone so this has just been me crying every second while writing this because how 2 words tbH!!!!!! i hope you find it marginally enjoyable, at the very least heh
> 
> thank you j and d for the beta, i'm sorry i made you do this all so last minute i'm crying, you're the true heroes of this story
> 
> also if you guys didn't realize, sw/ym is supposed to be unrequited in the canonverse. it kind of mirrors the 25 sentences howons fic i wrote as a homage to amanda cause we talked about wanting to write it hehehe


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